“Build a life you don’t need a vacation from.” That phrase
haunts me from its whimsical background as I scroll through FaceBook. Sometimes
it is plastered over a beach chair, sometimes it is in fake cursive over a
mountain top. The meme sparkles in its simplicity, and I hate it.
I am a business person. I am a farmer. I am a woman with a Great
Pyrenees that acts as a reverse Swiffer sweeper and deposits piles of dust
throughout my house. Many times I am exhausted. I am brain dead; mentally
checked out from a life of constant worry over water levels and pasture
rotation, and do we have groceries for tonight, or laundry done for tomorrow? Did
I get all the invoicing caught up this afternoon, what should I write in a blog
for work’s website?
I think it is the story of the modern farmer to live and
breathe a never ending checklist of important tasks in rotation. Most of us
have to work a 8-5 job in addition to the farm to make ends meet. I would say
that is doubly so as a woman farmer, but that could just be my perspective
because Captain America could care less about the dirt on the floor and whether
or not the counters are clean at nine o’clock when we roll in from feeding
everyone after working our 8-5 jobs and start our dinner. I still care and will
numbly fold laundry while the oven preheats or I’ll wash a couple dishes while
the Keurig whirs. Given all this, you might think then that I crave vacations
as a break from the constant stress, but I don’t.
I crave them for novelty.
I become root bound in my little pot of processes that I do
day in and day out. I curl in on myself in a constant stream of chores that I
try to perform more and more efficiently every day, until exhaustion and
compassion fatigue obscure why I chose this life in the first place. I need to
be uprooted. I need to be taken out of my tight little space and have myself gently
stretched out into the wide world so that when I get planted again I have room
to grow, room to appreciate everything again.
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| Image by Keith Williamson. Click here to learn more. |
I went to the beach with girl friends for a few days, and
while I was SUPER stressed about leaving everything I am SO glad that I did. I
came back and I am rejuvenated.
Fence down? Eh, no problem. Have you seen how gorgeous the
sky is today? Wow, just talk about blue.
Can’t find a new calf? Aren’t they great hiders? Man, it is
so nice to wander around the woods looking in all these little hidey holes.
This is such a cool tree! Hey, are those blackberries?
New calf was actually out in the yard? Aw! Isn’t he
adorable? Breaking through fences already and he isn’t even 24 hours old! You’re
a precocious little buddy, aren’t ya?
Folks, even hammering in fence posts becomes an enjoyable
act when I have been away from it for a while. CA and I spent Sunday afternoon
starting in on the fences for the rotational grazing program that we are
implementing and I was humming, laughing, and turning it into a rousing game of
“how many thumps of the t-post driver does it take” that I didn’t mind consistently
losing. I loved every exhausting minute of it.
God, it is good to be home!
Oh, and we did manage to get the new baby back in the fence with minimal bruising. (On CA's part, not the calf's.)
